Happy All Saints Day. Happy November?! Happy Thursday...almost weekend! It has been too long since I've posted. I've written a few blogs but didn't have the heart to publish them. I tend to write very personal thoughts and I'm still figuring out what to include in this blog. However, I need to write! I miss this outlet and I hope you have missed it as well.
As I've quickly learned in the teaching profession, always start with something positive. So, here is something positive. I just pulled off my first concert at St. Pat's. It was a concert of spontaneity if you will. I wanted to give the students a chance to perform. Check. I wanted to give students solo opportunities. Check. I wanted to give myself a run-through before Christmas. Check. I wanted a great turn out. Check. I wanted positive feedback. Check. What a blast! The students didn't think we could do it, but by golly, we did. Here are a few comments from attendees: "I haven't been to a concert here that was so much fun!" "You took some risks and I commend you for that." "I loved the laid back feeling of this concert." "The kids really seemed to enjoy themselves."
All of these comments are spot on. When you ask your students to perform "Piano Man" and "Some Nights" (both songs talking about sex, drugs, war, etc) at a Catholic school, yes, I'd say that's a risk. However, it went off without any backlash from administration, so that is great. When I decided to go ahead with this thing, I didn't realize how many students in the Honor's Chorus had NEVER sung a solo. This baffled my mind. But! They have now and I believe they are better musicians because of it. Was it the perfect concert? NO! Were there times when pitches were sharp or flat, when students fumbled lyrics, and there was panic behind the scenes? YES! However, the end result was a huge success. Now, if I can just get them to understand that...
More good things. All of my classes are doing quite well (except one...). The boys are really on board with my teaching style and 'get er done' attitude. They are learning so quickly. For the most part, I really enjoy working with them. They just do it. They don't complain. They seem excited. And they are all excelling. (Again...most of my classes...ok... ALL except one). At the beginning of the year, I talked about having a fall pops concert only to hear a chorus(boom boom ching!) of hems and haws. But they really worked hard to make it happen. And they sounded great. They are learning about music, performance, and how to roll with the punches. I love that! I keep telling my performance classes, "You will never have a perfect performance. It's not about being perfect, it's about going through it, experiencing things. That's what learning is all about." Of course, with that mentality, all the tweeks get hashed out. The coolest part is they get it! Performing is an invigorating experience. You deal with so many emotions before, during, and after. If you can muscle through them, you will be successful.
Another good thing is I am becoming much more comfortable at my new school. After wading through the waters and realizing that I need to find things out for myself, it has made my life a bit easier. I was used to my old school, the principal always checking in, having a mentor I met with each week, people just being a bit more mindful. I am in no way saying I don't have support where I am now, I do. I am so thankful for the support and camaraderie of the teachers at my school. What I'm speaking about is the difference in administrative support. I've learned that administration is dealing with their own battles, and unless I bring something up, they will not 'seek me out'. It's a double-edged sword. It's great because I am free to teach what and how I want. It's terrible because I am not the type of person to ask for help... Anyway, I am definitely getting used to the school culture. Positive.
I've also had a chance to perform a little here and there. I've sang the Anthem for 3 football games, I've cantored for a Mass, and I sang at Open Mic Night. That tiny toodle tidbit of performing has made me realize how much I miss it! I miss it so much. It has made me begin to seek out performance opportunities. It has made me want to become a stronger vocalist and pianist. It has made me want to be a better musician. This is all good because it will only help me become a better teacher. Yay.
With all the good things happening, there have been a few hiccups...you know those hiccups that won't go away even after downing a spoonful of peanut butter or having your bf scare you? Yeah, those hiccups. The biggest one is expectations vs. finances. I know I didn't pick a profession that pays wonderfully. I get that. I'm not in it for the money. But I do need to survive. Last year, even though I was part-time, I was able to greatly supplement my income with private lessons and singing through the church. This year, even though I took a pay increase with benefits, I am still considered part-time. I am part-time by one class. Meaning instead of teaching 5 classes(full time), I teach 4. I am still fulfilling all obligations and commitments outside of school hours such as open houses, dept meetings, various choral activities, concerts, playing/singing for Masses...but I do not teach 5 classes. Financially, that one class sets me back significantly. I hate talking numbers or finances at all because I know I am blessed. I know there are so many people without a job. But, how is it fair that I am expected to do all the things a full time teacher does, yet not be salaried as full time? It is so frustrating, and it weighs so heavily on my mind. As a single woman, living and working as a teacher in the city of Chicago, I am constantly worrying about money. "Will I have enough for rent? Will I get a late payment fee on this or that.." which sets me back even more. Blah blah blah...I know. Last thing I will say about this: Our society is well aware that most teachers do not get the salary they deserve. Hell, almost any profession does not get that. But, can't a brotha help a sista out??
I was gonna rap this post up, but I realized I haven't written about my 'except one' class. It's so interesting that a group of teenage boys can get me so amped, but they sure have managed to do so. Briefly, this is the elite group of singers... They are far from elite to me. They have the attitude that they are the best and they know best. It is terrible. The worst part: It's not the majority of the group. It's a select few that just refuse to get on board. All I can say is, they need to. I am a teapot about ready to blow my lid and they will be very sorry when that day comes...
ok, crazy teacher lady is gone:)
As always, thank you so much for your support. I love reading and seeing what everyone is up to. It's so interesting to be connected with people in a way that was previously non-existent. This is one great thing about technology. It's a beautiful thing to see pictures of family, friends, high school friends, home-town buddies, and all things included. May God Bless You. Continue being the beautiful beings you all are. Live each day to the fullest and always be mindful and thankful.
