Day 5

     We are back to sweltering conditions. Hot, muggy, almost unbearable. For how this affected the kids, see First Day and Day 2 posts. Enough said.

Day 4...Officially

     Wow!!! My 'overwelmingness' continues... Today I received an extensive list of more things to complete: An online course about child abuse, finger prints, Catholic Diocese religion courses(mandatory), another course (basically about what is appropriate or not in regards to student interaction), a resource meeting ( I will have about 50 kids a day to deal with...more on that later), still trying to figure out where the hell to start with classroom teaching, and last but not least, continuing my journey through private lessons. Oh yeah, and I am officially a firm believer in the laundry ghost...wahahah. Have you ever done laundry and come up a sock or two short? I have. Always thought the dryer ate it. Yesterday was a new experience. I washed all bedding, comforter, sheets, and pillowcases. I didn't lose a sock. I lost a pillowcase. "How is that possible?" one might ask. Well, my only conclusion is, the ghosts of laundry's past. I am completely baffled. How does one lose 1 out of 4 pillowcases? Never in my 14 years of doing my own laundry have I lost such a large article! Ok...I was singing in my laundry basement...loudly. Ok ghosts, you can 'sleep with me'!
     Anyways, it's been a day, let me tell you! 7th grade continues to test me. The boys continue to 'yearn for my affections'...well, that's what I'd like to think. However, after tediously reviewing rhythm and handing out a worksheet with notes, going through it with Kodaly, and painfully repeating...along with repeating RULE #1(in tempo of course)..."LISTEN WHEN OTHERS ARE TALKING"...and writing this rule, "LISTEN WHEN OTHERS ARE TALKING" 5 times, they actually figured out which song it was without hearing any melodies. Yes! It was 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga. Heeeyyyy, they really are smart!!
     Kindergarten graced my room today for the first time (last week I went to their classrooms). I introduced them to... DADADADAH!! Rhythm sticks! This is a glorified term for 2 sticks that you beat together. They were so excited. And, after assessing them visually, they really were able to keep the beat while singing. Of course their attention was set on the guitar, piano, violin, and any other instrument in the room, but hey! They kept the beat!! And after 20 grueling minutes, with the kids literally sweating, we stopped class early for a water break. My favorite part: Lifting those little buggers up to reach the fountains. How cute!
     One of the 2nd grades had a substitute today. Woah. They were out of control. Why is it that this age group cannot stop touching each other?? They are constantly doing this. Is it a sense of freedom from 1st grade desks? Are they testing their independence? Or do they just need more love? Not sure, but we had to repeat RULE #3 many times: KEEP HANDS, FEET, AND OBJECTS TO YOURSELF. I am seriously putting together a quick rhythm with the rules for each grade to perfect. How funny is it that all the grades have the same rules? Yet it is always a work in progress.
     I finally got smart and put the correct search words into Google..."Curriculum Mapping for Gr___ in Music". Yes!! Finally, some sort of direction. Music teachers worldwide, thank you! We always joke about 'stealing' each other's material, but I prefer to call it 'borrowing'.  Readers, don't be offended. Ask ANY teacher about this concept and I'm sure they will say the same thing. Right now, it is my saving grace. I have somewhere to start. I can use a model. I can tweek. I can change. I can adapt. Yes! I have a start.
     Changing gears for a moment, I wasn't sure what sort of response (if any), I would get to this 'blog' of sorts. But I am so humbled by the responses I have gotten. My "First Day" entry has eluded to an overwelming response that I surely never thought I would get. Many of you have expressed how much you can relate to things I wrote about. This makes my heart beat. After hearing your comments, either personally or in writing, I re-read this post. I have to admit that every time I read it, I cry. My brother's death has forever left a mark on my heart. He is such a huge part of where I am today. I think everyday how much I wish he were here. How much I wish he could visit my class. How much I wish we could hang out. How much I wonder if he would have a family...yes I think he would. I think in all of the sadness, how much I thank him for giving me the courage to move forward. Become a better person. Relay this to others. HE IS AMAZING!  It is not easy to lay it on the line, but after the positivity! (yes, I am adopting this word), I am so thankful that my hands and heart continue to guide me through writing. Although this story is inspired by my students, they also inspire me to be brave and talk about things I really haven't shared. Wow, I haven't even begun to touch on the other 'life savers' of my life. I will. I promise. I am anxious to meet tomorrow's adventures. The other 7th grade, worse than today. 6th, 3rd and 4th. Lord help me.

Monday, Monday

Even though I didn't have students today, I ended up staying at school all day! I now have 23 students for private lessons...i'm officially overwelmed. Although I am very excited to start this aspect of teaching, I have no idea what I'm doing. Don't worry. I know how to teach piano. I don't know the best way to stay in touch with parents. I don't know the best way to handle monies. I don't know any of the practical logistics! I spent most of the day trying and re-trying different spreadsheets and forms. Not entirely happy with any of it. Then I realized, "Uh, hello Stacy, you haven't figured out what you are teaching this week." My mind cannot focus on one thing and I still haven't pinpointed exactly what to teach. I guess I have one good trait, working well under pressure...I just hope the pressure doesn't wait til 9:30 tomorrow morning when my 5th grade arrives...

Friday Woes

     Today I did not have school. This will not be the case usually, but until lessons and the resource period begin, I dont need to be there. So, of course, I sat home last night listening to acoustic versions of the following songs: Love the Way You Lie Part II by Rhianna, You Lost Me by Christina, and any Lady Gaga. This then led to listening others cover these songs, which led to other songs, which led to a bottle of wine and 3:00 in the morning. This is what happens when my evenings are not filled and I don't need to be responsible the next day! But...it did give me a great idea for quickly teaching the older kids rhythm. Can you believe that they haven't had any music theory since 4th grade? They couldn't even identify an eighth note. I was truly shocked. Anyways, I am going to write out the notes for either Edge of Glory or Bad Romance. They will only see notes. Then we will learn the rhythm through Kodaly, which is a method of teaching music using 'ta' 'ti' and other syllables. Once they have that down. They will learn how to name notes..."Every Good Boy Does Fine" and "FACE". Lastly, I will play the passage for them and see if they can guess the song! Simple and fun.
     I also got a call from my principal today. I gave him a 'wish list' of instruments I'd love to have for my room. Very simple rhythm instruments like cymbals, drums, wood blocks, etc. Today he informed me that I will be able to get those instruments through the school's Campbell's soup label fundraising! How cool!! I'm so excited the kids will have nice, new instruments to use. By the way, if you eat Campbell's, save the labels for me!

Day 3

     Thursdays are going to be fun. I have both 1st grades, then both 8th grades. Talk about a change in gears! I have to admit, I was looking forward to meeting the 8th grade all week. I was also told by sources that the 8th grade is awesome. This time my sources were right. What a great bunch of kids! I love being sarcastic and joking with this age group. They are so young yet soon heading into a whole new world. My hopes for them is to not only teach them about music but guide them towards becoming respectful young adults. They seem to already be on their way. What a difference a year makes...7th grade monsters, 8th grade sweethearts!
     I also had lunchroom duty today with grades 1-3. Why do companies make it so difficult to open their products? They should really do some research on that. Maybe ask the question, "Who is eating this and how can we make it accessible to them?"  Really! Isn't that their job? I suppose they don't really care what happens after they've made their money, but it's something to think about. Our school doesn't have a playground so they block off the street so the kids can run around. How ironic! We teach children never to play in the street yet here they are, running around in one at school! I was running around with them as well. Why not? It's fun and such a great way to connect with the younger grades. I remember back to my grade school days and can't help but think how lucky we were to have a HUGE playground. Plus, our recess was really long! These kids have 10 minutes...no wonder they run around and scream like crazy.
     I want to write more but many things weigh on my mind today. It's kind of backwards that my serenity is in the chaos amongst children. But everything there is all laid out. I know who I will be seeing, what time I will be coming and going, and what I need to get done. Home is so different. I love living alone but find it very difficult to be isolated this way. It's one extreme to another. It doesn't help that my personal life is in transition too. Hmm, how much to share...let's just say, I've never had much luck in the relationship department. And I've gotten myself stuck in a never ending rut that I can't seem to pull myself out of. I like to think that my students, in some way, will pull me out. But that is so unfair to put that burden on them, even though they don't know it. All I can do is pray and try to understand the plan that is set for me. We all know though, that this is tough. I want so badly to have a companion and a family. This thought is like a winter cold. You can medicate it, take care of yourself, and think you're better, but when you least expect it, it comes back 10-fold. This is my cold. I can't shake it. I'm trying like hell though and am determined to fight through it, even if I have to fake that thought to make it happen!
     No school for me tomorrow so I'm not sure if I will write, but we shall see. Enjoy this beautiful weather as the last of summer is near.

Day 2

     Ok. Everything I said yesterday about loving my job? Forget it!
I'm joking, but it was rough going today. The weather in Chicago is sweltering. If a hurricane came ashore from Lake Michigan, I would not be surprised. It is 85* with heat indexes between 95 and 105*. Picture that times 10 in my classroom. No, this school still does not have air conditioning in all the rooms. Yes, the joke's on me today. Unbearable for the staff. Brutal for the students. All the kids were crazy and I don't blame them. How can anyone concentrate or behave? But, I did the best I could.
     I met the dreaded 7th grade class ( at least that's what the other teachers forewarned me of). I was thinking, "How bad can they really be?" Then I thought my 7th grade music class with Mr. Knoedler. We tortured him! The boys would literally shoot rubberbands and hit him square in the nose. It was crazy! Good thing for him, our class was held right next to the principal's office. When I think back though, I am 99.9% sure he should not have been a teacher. He ended up 'leaving' due to accusations of inappropriate behavior. Either we were masters of deception or something really happened. In any case, we did not treat him with any respect!
     Anyways, back to 7th grade...they were terrible. Well, let me re-phrase that. The boys...no...let me try again...the 'clan' of 4 boys were terrible. I had to put them in time out! How funny. To give them some credit and myself a smidgen of hope, they did end up being much better as the class went on. Ok, let me re-phrase that again...they started behaving much better after I handed out the syllabus with the grading policy and discipline code. Ha! Bet they didn't think in a million years there would be a syllabus for music! But there is and I am SO thankful I took the time to write one up. I believe it will save me in the weeks to come. The 3rd, 4th, and 6th grades were a piece of cake comparatively speaking.
     The great news is at Parents Night tonight, I acquired 12 students for private lessons! 12 already! My goal was 10, but I am very excited that the word is spreading. My students are from all grades so it will be very interesting to see how they progress. My favorite line from a parent tonight after speaking about lesson times was, "Well, you're the professional. Whatever you think."  I had to catch myself from making a joke of that because I am finally starting to see myself as just that. It is a wonderful feeling. Many of the parents simply said thank you for being there. They were so thankful that music would still be a part of their child's education. That makes me feel special and continually thank God for giving me such an amazing gift.
     I didn't think I'd be up for writing much since I was bathing in my own sweat all day, but finally being home, having a glass of wine, and writing really makes my night complete. I've always thought about writing a memoir of sorts and it just makes sense that my motivation to write this experience and my own experiences down already comes from my students. Tres cool:)
     

First Day!

     My journey to becoming a music teacher was anything but conventional. According to my parents, I came out of the womb kicking, screaming, and singing. My dad said he would sing the ABCs to me as a baby and I would mimic his voice. Growing up, I started taking piano lessons at the Catholic grade school I attended. My first teacher was Sister Romaine. I remember her having a horrible case of halitosis but she must've done something right cause once I started playing, I never stopped. I would literally get a new piano book, go home, and sit at the piano reading and playing through every song until I was finished with the book. Psychotic child piano player? Yes! But I loved it. The funny thing is that the piano I began to learn on was a beat up old upright with over half the ivorys missing, keys that stuck, keys that didn't play at all, and a pedal that didn't work. Did this stop me? No. Again, my parents always said I was abnormally stubborn even as a child....ok, I still am.
     Anyways, along with piano, I continued singing. I would learn a song from my books, then sing along with it. I would dance and sing around the living room listening to my mother's records including but not limited to: Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Chicago, Simon and Garfunkel, The Grease Soundtrack, and Lionel Richie. Yes, I began developing my ecclectic side at an early age. Since I grew up in the Catholic Church, my only performance opportunities were IN church. I sang and played weekly either at one of two weekly school masses, or on the weekends for regular church. There were a group of us in my grade who really excelled on the musical side, and, to this day, I credit much of my determination and success to that group. We were friendly competitors, always pushing each other to move ahead or catch up.
     Although music has always been a constant and beautiful therapeutic outlet for me, my school years were not so beautiful, especially high school. Let's just say, certain peers and their parents didn't like me "outshining" their children. Without going into too much detail, just picture this: You live in a very small town. You are very talented. You just want to sing. You get to sing through school. You get solos. You win competitions. You are recognized. Your life is made a living hell. You try hang with the "other" crowd to gain friends. You make poor decisions to fit in. You make more poor decisions to fit in. You decide to get as far away from your small town as possible as soon as possible. You go to college 4 hours away. You don't move home for the summer.
     That brings us to my college experience. Brace yourselves, it's long and hard to follow, but I promise I will be as swift as possible. I began college at UW-Milwaukee. No schools would accept me into their voice program since I hadn't had professional training but I was accepted into the Piano Performance program. Wow! That was so crazy. I was practicing for 3-5 hours a day, locked in a practice room, trying to get other homework finished and study for exams, taking voice lessons, doing master classes, working, partying, and I'm sure other things which need not be mentioned. We've all been to college!
     Well, it was too much. I got caught up once again with the "other" crowd. You see, I never felt like I fit in. To be honest, I still don't. I'm somewhat of a loner yet I crave the acceptance and love of others. I was so young and naive and...stupid. I dropped out of school after almost 2 years, packed my bags, and moved to Florida. Classic first mistake: I moved for a guy. A guy I barely knew. It was awful. I had a terrible time there but was too prideful and STUBBORN to come home. I thought everyone would label me a loser. Finally, a friend of mine said something I will never forget. She said, "Stacy, you need to go home. Home misses you." I don't know why that had such an impact, but it did. I packed my car with what I could, had my parents wire me gas money, and drove straight for 24 hours until I reached home.
     During my time home, I was in contact with a company out of Baltimore. They had seen a video of me singing and playing piano on the Internet and were interested in working with me. I really thought it was legit especially since my parents were involved, checking things out. The company moved me to Baltimore and I began 'working' with them. They claimed they would take care of all expenses for the first 3 months. But, being the loner and stubborn independent I am, I was not comfortable fully relying on someone else to take care of me. So, I got a job. I got a really fun and well paying job. I became the promotions manager at a bar, a bar with themes...typical? Of course not! That wouldn't be me. Needless to say, the company and I did not work out but I had really gained some close friends in Baltimore and stayed. I had enrolled in a couple of classes at the city college, I was singing regularly with my singer boyfriend. I went camping. I traveled to NYC, Philly, Ocean City, AC, and DC. I stayed for almost 3 years.
                                               Then one morning, everything changed.
     My dad had been blowing up my phone all morning. I had worked the night before and was so tired I didn't answer. It was almost as if I subconsciously knew something was wrong. Finally, I called him back. He was very serious. Too serious. He asked me to sit down. Now my heart was pounding. Me, "What's wrong dad? What happened?" Him, "David was killed in a car accident last night." Me, "What? You're joking." Him, "No Stacy, he's gone..."  What I did next, I'm not sure of the order, but it was something like this: Screams. Hysterical Crying. Asking over and over if he was telling the truth. More Crying. More screaming. Sadness. So much sadness. My heart wasn't broken, it was gone. I immediately knew I needed to go home, and right now!!! But I couldn't. I was 1,000 miles away!!! Someone, PLEASE come and get me. Take me home. PLEASE!!! But it took 24 hours to get home. I will always be grateful to my Aunt Gayle for driving from DC to pick me up and take me to the airport. To book a ticket with her miles. To be there for me during that horrible time. Thank you.
     I made it home and anyone who has had a loved one pass away, knows what comes next. Oh! I forgot to tell you,  David is my brother. My closest sibling out of 3. We were so close. He even went to UWM cause I did. He sang and played instruments. He made everyone laugh. He had an ability to make everyone love him. He is my brother. My precious Dave. Granted, we had some rocky times before he passed, but I'll save that story for another time. Many other things happened between my family during the days, weeks, and months after my brother's death, but again, that is for another time. I didn't go back to Baltimore. My dad, uncle, and 2 cousins drove out, loaded my stuff, and brought me home. Thank you.
     I didn't have a clue what I would do next. I wanted to be home but sadness was running so thick, I was drowning in it. It was a horrible time. I couldn't take it all in this way. So, I moved again. This time to Chicago. With my older brother and now sister-in-law. Many things happened during this time as well, but not the time to get into it. After getting a job at the Chicago Board of Trade and starting to find a small sliver of stability in my life, I began to seriously think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew music wouldn't go away. I knew I could change another's life with it. I knew I loved children. I knew I wanted to teach. And I knew I was scared to death of that. To be successful? Me? That wouldn't be my 'norm'. But, after much persuading by my family and friends, I decided to just do it.
     I enrolled in one class at Harold Washington just to see if I could even function in the classroom anymore. After all, it had been 7 years! Wow, how time flies. Well, I didn't die so I enrolled fully and picked up where I had left off so many years before. Turns out, I actually excelled in school. I graduated HWC with a 4.0! Yay, my first goal accomplished! Then I transferred to North Park University. I took summer classes and maxed out my semester credits. I was on a mission to graduate and as quickly as possible. Guess what? I wasn't such a bad student there either, graduating Cum Laude. After working part-time with Saint Patrick High School during their spring semester and dutifully searching for a job, I finally, finally found one.
     In truth, it was not the job of choice. I wanted to be in a high school not elementary. I wanted full-time not part-time. I wanted public not private. But, the principal was so endearing and welcoming, I just knew God had a plan. After my first day, I am so thankful to be in my position. So far, I have already fallen in love with my students. They are so honest, bright, energetic, and smart! It's going to be a great year. A quick few things about today: A 5th grade teacher stopped in my room after class and wanted to tell me that her kids loved music. She very much sounded in disbelief that anyone could get a 5th grader to like anything! That makes me feel so good. A kindergartener had a bloody nose and two 2nd graders were bleeding...not too many casualties for my first day. Thank you teachers for sharing your band-aids with me. Oh, and the majority of the 7th grade were actually interested in my "Glee Club" choir I want to start. This is excellent. I knew the kids would be responsive. All they need is some encouragement, enthusiasm, and positivity ( I don't think this is a word but it should be!) 
     Wow, I have been typing for a long time. I hope you aren't too winded if you've made it this far. I will be writing about many more classroom stories and other things that come to mind. See you soon!